Today, I just passing by Kemang, jakarta selatan. I saw a big screen standing by.. poster film barunya Dian Sastro (God, gue nggak pernah bosen liat this lovely girl.. She remind me of some one. ups!!!).. The tittle is -kalo gak salah- the Soulmate.
Hmm...
Bbrp hari ini kayaknya gue banyak banget baca2 soal issue ini.. yang pertama dari blognya Tiara Lestari , yang berikutnya di majalah bokin (yg iseng2 gue baca.. hehehehe, sekedar biar tahu keinginan wanita itu apa, sii?).. trus postingan di salah satu situs tempat gaul.. and bbrp lagi di kompas.
Hehehe, kayaknya soal soul mate ini emang dalem banget, ya.. Enak aja buat dibahas.
Btw, kemarin dulu gue sempet ragu-ragu siapa sebenarnya seseorang yang bisa gue bilang my soulmate. Is she the one that always in my mind since i was high school and still exist till now (padahal she'd already became some body's wife with 2 kids).. and this have been last for about 15 years!!! Could you imagine that? 15 tahun, jack! Yup, 15 tahun dan gue masih nggak bisa ngelupain my 'first love'.
Atau seseorang yang juga begitu kuat ada dalam pikiran gue dan selalu mengingatkan gue ke dia tiap gue secara gak sengaja melihat sesuatu that is related to her or lewat jalan2 yang dulu selalu aja bikin gue merasa dekat sama dia in spirit. Some one yang selalu aja ngingetin gue to be a good husband.. Sesuatu yang bikin gue jadi konflik batin.. lha, gimana nggak? If I have to be a good man, that mean I have to forget her for good. Sesuatu yang gue masih berusaha sampe skarang..
Atau, yeah, bukan siapa2 kecuali some one with whom I spend my entire life with. Jujur aja, kadang gue nggak bisa menghindar dari kenyataan ini bhw gue memiliki orang lain, at least in my mind, selain my beloved wife. Tapi semakin gue berusaha meyakini bahwa dia memang bukan my soul mate, gue semakin sadar bahwa she is uncomparable. Dan itu cukup menjawab ke-nggak yakinan gue selama ini, bahwa gue emang salah! Salah!!!
Bbrp malam lalu I tried to take a deep look at her face while she was laying-sleeping in my arm. She fall to sleep tide like a baby. I found so peacefull face, closing eyes with the lips that I've been kissing for thousand times and uncountable.
All sudden I cried at heart remembering all those evil things that I've done thru our entire marriage life. Infact there's nothing bothering us. Nothing wrong with her.. She is a girl with an angel heart. Today she still the one that I met at the very first sight in 1993. Never had changed with her, not even her feeling towards me. God, I knew I am right about this.. her feeling about me that is always grow. I am the first man for her, her first love.. Never had changed until today.
God, it is so sad to realize that I am her truly soul mate but I'm still wondering who is mine..
I love you so much and even more... I know for sure that you're always be my soul mate, Minarni.
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