Cockroach..

how does it feel killing some thing?

Have u ever thought about how does somebody's feeling when he kills some one? 

Does he feel anything? 

What is it in his mind when he looks at his victim's face when he is dying? 

Jeezee, how come some body could take others life..

This morning, I took some creature's life.. a cockroach! 

Yeah, you might laugh at me reading my story and think that this is ridiculous or a fool. That's okay! 

Well, I know it is only a cockroach, a disgusting-creature that usually crawling from our bathroom or such a dirty corner. I know that it is only a creature that we always trying to chase it away from our house. But, this morning I just realize that it is also a living thing that has a life!

It came out from somewhere when I took a bath and scarry me. Yeah, I scared everytime I see it. This happened because of a traumatic experience when I was a kid. When I was a 10 years old, some of my room mate (when I stay in a boarding house) was making a foolish joke. 

They put many cockroach in my locker. I didnt know they did it. And when I opened my locker, they all sudden flew away from it and some of them hit me directly on my face. Could you ever think how does it feel when the serrated-stiky-leg jump into your face?? well, that was exactly what I feel. 

I was shocked and screaming anxiously. And since after, I always scared about the cockroach. 

I was so scared so I took a carbolic --I usually put it in the bath room-- and spill it over.

It offcourse ran away and try to hide. But it can't run so far bcos a second later it was suddenly upside down and it's leg up raising in the air death-struggling. Quite long enough before finally freeze.. 

That cockroach is death! 

It happened only in seconds, but I didnt miss anything. I saw it death right before my eyes. And the way it dye, when it death-struggling with the leg up raise in the air make me feel so terrible. 

I felt so guilty for taking it life. I was thinking about how does it feel when it dye. 

God, I hope He forgive me for taking His creature life without permission. I shouldn't do it. I should have chased it away without killing it.

And a minute later, I was looking at the ant in a different way.. However, they deserve to live beside us, human. I still feel very bad.

Now I wonder what does somebody's feeling when he kills some one? Hhh...